Thursday, June 08, 2006

To blog or not to blog, that is the question.

I have discovered that there are several distinct stages to blogging psychology. I have experienced all of them in my brief excursion into this weird world of electronic regurgitating of human brains gone wild, otherwise known as blogging.

The first phase is the utter joy at discovering a way to express all the thoughts that randomly float through your brain that seem so profound at the time that you are just sure that all the world will flock to your site just to bathe in the wisdom and creativity expressed in your first blog.

The second phase I experienced was the desire to produce a new and fresh subject on a regular basis so I don't lose my imagined legion of devotees. This phase starts
to build slowly from a slight feeling of constant nagging time pressure to a state where panic for a really clever blog idea begins to crowd out all the other normal daily affairs of living. You begin to hear from other bloggers that threaten to exile you from their world of bloggerdom. They can get quite vicious at times!

This triggers the third phase I call the unreasoning panic phase. You begin to imagine terrible things will happen if you don't blog on a regular basis.
You even begin to imagine your pets will turn on you and attack. I look over
my shoulder and see my cat Oreo doing threatening things in my presence.

Now the forth phase of the negligent blogger's mental degeneration sets in as slowly resignation and depression take over as I realize that I may not have what it takes to ever be a world class blogger. This is quite distressing and it begins to take a toll on my mind.

Gloriously however, the final stage of bogger psychosis is usually experienced, and out of somewhere very deep in the inner man surges up the urge for survival in this world of bloggerdom. Even men old as the ancient dust and normally of much lesser status in this world come up with the inspiration for another blog! Yes it is true, and pride swells beyond all description as I realize my blog is once again current!!

This final phase however, sadly only lasts about as long as the satisfaction from a freshly injected dose of heroin surging through the veins of the hopelessly addicted wretch living out his final filthy days on the street looking for his now one and only fleeting joy of his sorry existence. Then horribly, as regular as the full moon, unbelievably, I slowly begin to experience phase two .... soon I blindly stagger once again to my computer late at night when I should be sleeping hoping to again have that rush of inspiration in order to get this awful, evil blog monkey off my back. The cursed never ending cycle has started again, please help me! I need blogging methadone immediately to break this life destroying cycle and make my wife and dog happy with me again... uuugghhh .... oh, great Google images... I'm coming, I'm looking, here I am for another injection.....

Monday, May 08, 2006

Blogs definitely contribute to the generational divide. You can see the utter joy Robin captured in my expression when she snapped this picture as I completed my last post. I hope to whip out another post or two this summer so you better hang on if you don't want to be left behind in my blog dust.

I think 53 year old brains degenerate into a sticky slimy substance resembling old thick engine crankcase sludge. At least I've managed to maintain my good looks, much to Robin's pleasure.

Now to the subject of this post. Sometimes I feel that I'm the only person who has ever had that awkward experience of approaching someone you vaguely recognize but are not sure why you should remember their face. I usually glance down hoping they don't call out my name as they pass by and I am forced into a conversation while avoiding eye contact and muttering generalities that don't give away the fact I don't have a clue who they are. Then as I quickly glance back up again so I don't continue to bump into things and draw undue attention to myself, I sometimes finally begin to register who the person is but now due to unreasoning panic their name completely departs any portion of my mind that still has functioning brain cells. This can be really unsettling at this point because you now realize you know them well and for some significant length of time. Then as we approach closer our eyes usually meet and they look directly into my soul. I then begin to frantically go through the alphabet hoping to randomly spell some portion of their name so if needed, I can at least utter some sounds that might resemble what their mama used to call them. This almost never works so what sometimes can help is a well timed coughing fit. Just look up between coughs resembling the black plague and act like you can't catch your breath ... with any luck they usually go away and leave you alone. Maybe that's why I don't make the best greeter at church.

Friday, May 05, 2006

I have been informed by one of the legions of my followers who absorb every thought posted on this blog that I had a problem with my settings that prevented them from commenting on my posts. Well of course there is no reason to comment on my posts because they say all that needs to be said on the subject. However, on further reflection I realized my devotees may need the opportunity to tell me how right I am and how well it was expressed. Sooo... you may now feel free to express yourself by gushing all your embarrassing praise upon my posts. Let me know if the settings still are still keeping you from telling me of your adulation.